Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I Hate the Dentist!!

Have I mentioned how I hate dentists?? If not-- I HATE DENTISTS! Ok, I don't hate the dentists themselves. In fact, I have a pretty amazing dentist. The entire office and everyone in it is exceptional (and beautiful--I think they had some sort of mathematical formula for beauty and you could only be hired if you met cerain criteria). So I apologize to them in advance (and any one in the dental field who may be reading), but.....


If you haven't assumed yet, I had to go to the dentist yesterday. This was my second appointment at this place. The one prior to that was 4 months ago and it was about time since I hadn't gone since...hmm....EVER! Ok, slight exaggeration, but it had been a few years since I'd gone. I know, I know....I'm gross and I've made you puke a little in your mouth...AGAIN (but I guess that makes you the gross one, doesn't it?). In my very weak defense, it's more work for a teacher to take off work then to be there. I was the kind that never took a sick day, so the thought of taking time off for appointments just didn't happen with me. Still...I'm gross, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, right??

At the last appointment they said I had some gum problems (not anything you can label like gingivitis--but I was on a bad road if I didn't get it figured out), but no cavitities. Pretty amazing for not going to the dentist in close to 5 years--according to them. Sure didn' feel amazing. So they gave me some meds for my back gums (you know...the ones you can't reach well no matter how hard you try), gave me a pat on the butt, and told me to be on my way. And off I went....in a TON of pain, & they didn't even have to do any drilling. My gums were so swollen, it was a miracle that my mouth even closed. I hate the dentist!!

So yesterday I went AGAIN. This time, Bug had to go with me since finding a babysitter didn't work out in my favor. Turns out, things are looking better...but I'm not in the clear yet. So then she asks me THE questions...you know, the ones no one wants to answer (or at least ME). Brushing---check, 2 minutes--check, mouth wash---check, flossing daily--UNcheck! I do floss, but since I'm all about admitting the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, I have to say that it's probably more like every other day. I mean, after you spend 2 minutes brushing, a minute or so going to the bathroom while using mouthwash...I just don't feel like doing it EVERY darn day! Don't they know I barely have time to shower and some days...I DON'T between chasing around my daughter, trying to search for online jobs, imaginary homes, making my house into a model home, and having an affair with DELL????? I know it probably takes most people no time, but darnit if I can turn my hands into Gumby to get way back there well enough. I try...I just don't know how well I succeed. I also think that I'm not going it right. When that dental hygienist does it, I swear she's trying to pull that rope of metal floss right up between my teeth and through my head like those wire cheese-cutters. She's behind my head yanking & pulling with her knee on the chair and her back arched. Ok, ok...slight exaggeration, but that's how it felt. I guess I need to get more agressive with my flossing to "toughen my gums." Ugh...I HATE the dentist.

To top it off, I now have a TINY cavity and have to go back. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I barely get a real meal in during the day and end up snacking on chocolate grasshoppers, nutty bars, and whatever else I can find that's NOT good for me. Oh, and did I mention that I had to pay $300 plus this last time around because when we changed insurance (LONG and angering story that I'll have to save for another post), we thought we had some sort of dental coverage or discount plan. Turns out...NOPE! So if we don't add something, my TINY cavity (that they said was just barely "sticky") will cost an addition $175. Boo to that!! I hate the dentist.

After a fun filled afternoon, I couldn't get the experience out of my mind. Probably because for the rest of the day (and night) my mouth was going to explode into pieces at any moment!! My teeth ached, my gums were swollen, and my pockets were empty. Not to mention, I'm discussing my grossness with you all. They've taken my dignity people!! :-)

So please tell me I'm not the only one who hates the dentist, who seemingly is 4 years old and doesn't know how to floss aggressively, and who will need to be dragged kicking and screaming when it's time to go back!! If you happen to see a blonde lady with swollen gums whose head has been agressively flossed to shreds wearing jeans with empty pockets...you found me! Did I mention that I hate the dentist? Well, I do!!

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