Are You Making a Wig with Mommy's Hair??

Lately, I've been finding myself asking my non-speaking, eight month old daughter the age-old question (Why do we constantly ask them questions when we KNOW they're not going to answer?? I do it all the time. Since I am an academic snot a former teacher, I say it's because I'm helping her language develop, BUT I really think I'll start talking to myself and become the crazy mom if I'm not talking to her. This way, I can actually weirdly talk to myself process things aloud without getting gawked at. You know, "Do you like this centerpiece for the table? Is it a little too red? I don't know if it'll match the fall berries." I'm helping her language develop, right??)

Oh, back to this age-old question:

"Are you making a wig with Mommy's hair??"

Now, I'm sure you read all the things I did about hair loss around pregnancy, birth, and post-birth. I'm also pretty sure many of you moms are now hairless chiuauas like I will soon be. Cute, huh?? But why did I think I was going to be the exception??? My daughter is now 8 months old and I'm just starting the hairloss process. I thought I had already crossed the hairloss bridge and made it safely to the other side. Don't get me wrong, I've got mounds of hair so I could probably afford to lose a good 50% of it, but why did I think my chemically golden locks would make it through the fire??

If I really analyze it, it doesn't even come down to the actual loss of the hair as much as to the annoyance of it all. You know what I mean!! You've felt that tickling on the back of your arm and have spun around like a dog chasing its tail or have continued to feel yourself up in search of the guilty suspect only to look like a complete CRAZY to anyone who passes you and doesn't see that innocent, invisible hair driving you mad! You have seen the random long strand floating teasingly from your boob or your butt, if you're really lucky (had to get one of mine off my husband in that prime location the other day). I feel like I'm covered from head to toe with hair!! It's all over my shirt. It's in my car. It's in my daughter's hands. It's on her pacifier (along with some dog hair for another tasty treat). It's on the floor, and in my bed, and in my sink.

IT. IS. EVERYWHERE....EVERYWHERE!!!

I'm contemplating using our dogs' Furminator. You've seen the commercials. It gets out all the dead hair in the deep underlayers of the dog's coat (No, this is not an advertisement...on second thought, Furminator, call me!). Wouldn't that work for me?? Just check out what it does for the dog (and honestly, it REALLY gets that much hair! We've done it on our little Cavalier King Charles Spaniels and the result is pretty disgusting)!

As you can see, I'm getting pretty desperate to stop this insanity before I lose mine. Calling all fellow hairless chiuaua moms....what should I do??