***This post is NOT intended for any male readers. I'm pretty 100% sure I don't have any since this blog isn't really their cup of tea, but I'm still giving any males that may have unknowingly wandered here the explicit instructions to leave immediately or do not read this post. As always, it's TMI and completely inappropriate for anyone who believes a lady should be a lady.***
So according to my digital scale, I am down 12 lbs from what I was pre-pregnancy. Yipee!!!! Right??? I should be pumped. I started thinking....I surely don't look 12 lbs smaller. Yes, my jeans are somewhat loose--but not 12 lbs worth. I got rid of my baby weight months ago and I'm grateful for that---BUT I am utterly dumbfounded when my scale is telling me such ridiculousness, especially when I haven't even so much as THOUGHT about working out since the beginning of July when I gave up my P90X 2/3rds the way through for a little morning sleep (ok, sheer laziness).
I started pondering this strange event, and that's when it hit me. I could've lost 12 lbs, but boy was it NOT from what I wanted. I think it boils down the fact that my body has lost any muscle tone it once had. In fact, if you find my muscle tone lying around anywhere, would you please tell it to come back to me?? My butt is MIA (missing in action, mom). For the record, this is NOT a good thing. Prior to this whole mom thing, that little hiney was relatively in shape and lately it seems to be sliding down my leg a bit. It's getting smaller by the moment--and NO one is happy about it. Just for a little anatomy lesson, the booty is intended to be perky and a whole separate entity from the leg--NEVER should the two ooze into one.
The biggest hit of all occurred to my lady friends. I think this is the area I'm having the hardest time adjusting to. I've always been rather full-figured up there. But the thing is---they seemed fake, they were so dense and perky--there, I said it. They were pretty great to me. I could go out without a bra (not like I made a habit of that and YES I wore layers so no one could tell---I'm not that girl), and they wouldn't hit the floor. I could buy wicked cheap walmart bras because they kind of supported themselves. Who needs $40 of support--not me! In all honesty, they were the kind people pay for--except that I didn't.
The question is---where are they and what has become of them (oops, I guess that would be questionS)??? They've lost all sense of firmness or perkiness. They seem to have gone south for the winter, but this winter is the kind in Antarctica--NEVER ENDING! I guess the good thing is that it's no longer extremely difficult for me to do a breast exam (the rare times I remember) because there's not much going on in there. I know this sounds weird, shallow, and horrible, but it's somewhat hard to deal with when a part of your body that you've grown so familiar with is different. I'd feel this way if it was anything--it just happens to be my boobs. I'd also be thrilled if some parts were different than what I'm used to--but that's for another post. In the same way, it would be weird for ME if all of the sudden my little sister lost hers (which let me tell you, make mine look small---sorry sis). While they're not who she is or who I am, they are what we're used to. My ladies may not seem different to anyone else but me, but they are--and I find myself somewhat self conscious about this change. I'm still fitting in my same bras, which is great because who has the money to have to go buy a whole new set of booby-lifters? Have I mentioned I'm not working??
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change my current bodily changes for the world. The reason God gave me the twins (no, I don't normally call them that and YES, I realize I sound like a gross frat boy) was to be able to nourish my baby. Even in their deflated state, they work miracles (rather, GOD does through them) and are the reason my girlie is growing, healthy, and happy. So yes....I'll take the change with that in mind.
But would I love to lose 12 lbs by a different means??? You betcha bottom dollar! So after I stuff myself with copious amounts of unhealthy food over Christmas and New Year's, I'm going to make it my mission to hopefully keep the weight loss, but begin mission Bring Booty Back. And in the meantime, I guess I'll get comfortable with the fact that I may need to invest in some better bras---no more $5 Walmart specials for me.
Surely, I'm not the only one dealing with these bodily changes?? Please tell me some of you feel my pain! And for those of my friends who are reading this and are pregnant, let this be a foreshadowing of what is to come. hehe!