***We interupt the norm of the silly posts to bring you something more real. Like I said before, I tell it like it is, and I tell you what's on my heart. If this topic makes some of you uncomfortable, then I'm sorry....but nothing has been more real to me this morning. I pray that He speaks to you as much as He's spoken to me this morning.***
God's really been speaking to me lately about His love for me/you/us. Prior to having Bug, I always knew God loved me--He's shown it to me in countless ways, BUT never was it so real to me until after looking in the eyes of the most precious gift I've ever received--my daughter.
They say being a mother changes you, and I would agree that it does. But the thing I've noticed the most is how real God has become to me during these times---how I feel like I understand Him better and have become more than grateful for His presence in my life.
I love the times before Bug's naps...when she's tired, resting her head on my chest or shoulder, and I'm rocking her to sleep. Each and every minute feels like the most precious thing, and I am overwhelmed with love and emotion for her. I would take a bullet for her. I'd walk to the ends of the earth for her. My love for her feels ferocious---and yet, it is not as unconditional as I would like it to be because I'm human. Then it hits me....how much greater than MY overwhelming sense of love for my baby girl is God's PERFECT and truly UNCONDITIONAL love for me? How much more precious is this little girl that I'm holding TO HIM? I think I would take a bullet for her, well God already did when He sent the son He loved so much to die for those who hated him--nails ripping through His flesh as He hung on the cross.
I know the love I have for my daughter, so how much more is the love God has for His children? What's amazing to me is that God's love is unconditional. It's easy for me to love my Bug--her smile lights up my world, the joy in her eyes fills my heart, when she's in pain, I ache for her. She's a good baby...she's my greatest earthly gift. She's unbelievably easy to love. As far as I'm concerned, how could anyone NOT love her?? I'm sure I may feel different when she's older and rolls her eyes at me, throws a temper tantrum, disobeys---because, I'm human. I'm confident that there will be times when love will be a decision, where the warm-and-fussies will be a little harder to hold on to. Hello teenage years? :-)
Yet, God loves the unlovable even MORE than I love my daughter, even in her perfect moments?? Huh? He loves ALL of His children this much---no matter what we do---good or bad. Lately, I haven't been so consistent with my time with the Lord. It's been hard to find the time with all that's going on in my life. Translation: I haven't MADE the time because I haven't set Him as my top priority. No excuses---I make time for what I want to make time for.
Well, this morning during my time with Him, He spoke to me about His great love for me. Even though He's been put on the backburner and I've made other things more important in my daily routine, He's there. Even though I talk more than I listen, He's there. Even though there are times when I literally ignore Him and choose not to spend time with Him, He's waiting. Can we say we'd do the same if someone (even our very own children) treated us like that?? Would I still look at my Bug like she's the best thing in my world when she's pushing me away and treating me like dirt (as I'm sure there will be plenty of times when she will)??
Praise the Lord for his unfailing, unconditional, and unhuman-like love. I'm grateful that although He has probably been one of my last priorities lately, He loves me just the same. He looks at me with tears in His eyes because the love He has for me, for you, for us is overwhelming. We didn't earn that love--there's nothing we could do to earn it. We aren't/won't be worthy of it....but we can claim it. It can be ours. We can know His love, and He can change our world.
Thank you, Father, for your love. Thank you for sending your beloved Son to us by humble means, even knowing He'd be coming to die. Thank you for giving me my Bug, so aspects of who you are could become more clear (and yet, more unfathomable) to me through motherhood.