Becoming Cleopatra

Sorry, it's been a few days. Things have been crazy around here with Halloween creeping up! In the midst of all that is scary this time of year, I encountered the scariest thing of all yesterday....the ugly green-eyed monster!! Yep, I admit it....I'm officially house jealous. Now, it's not even really about the house (although don't get me wrong, I'm sure if I thought about it--it could be), but it's about the home-maker.

One of my favorite hottie friends (we'll call her Cleopatra since she made a fabulous one last night) had a little get-together last night (ok, it wasn't that little...good thing she's the Hostess with the Mostest who can handle that kind of event because I'd probably pee my pants a little). Cleopatra is ridiculously PERFECT. She's gorgeous to the max, an awesome teacher, a great wife, friend, and every other title she carries....but not only that---she's a sickeningly amazing homemaker. Seriously, her house looks like it's straight from a Martha Stewart magazine, except with a modern/homey feel. The worst part of it is...she doesn't even know how amazing and talented she is or how perfect her house is. It's decorated to the T, and she even finds great discounts. I mean, I saw the green-eyed monster popping up the second I stood on her door stoop. Yep, even her 3' by 5' stoop is better decorated than my ENTIRE house!! How bad is that?? She always has said that if she stops teaching, she should be an interior decorator. And you know what I think??? She should. Better yet--she should start with my house pro bono. :-)

I guess I'm just not "girlie" in that sense. I'm not a natural homemaker, by any means. I don't love to cook. Although I'm not a bad cook, I don't have a natural sense of food, tastes, etc. (good thing Darling Dearest and I were raised similarly where dinner wasn't a big deal and neither of us are foodies--we may actually be food bores). I don't love to clean...but I think people who actually enjoy it are on something (sorry to my OCD friends-you know who you are). :-) I'm not a cutesy decorator. My house looks okay, but would you actually walk through it and say, "Wow, your house looks great!"???? HECK NO! Unless of course you're a worse homemaker than me (while that may be possible, you'd be in bad shape if that was the case). Sorry, Mom! hehe!

So lately I've been down on myself about my lack of what is stereotypically a girl's thing--something that should come naturally, right?? I mean, making your house cute and homey is what girls should be able to do...according to the stereotype. Well, if that is the case.....I'm the worst. I think a good amount of it is because I'm cheap (financially forced to be cheap...did I say I'm not working yet??), and never EVER go shopping for things for my house. I also don't really watch all those home shows (I'm too stuck on mind-erasing reality shows), even though I do love them when I stumble upon them. I guess I just wish someone (namely, Cleopatra) would come do it all with me (translation: FOR me) and tell me what is cute, what is not, what goes with what, etc.

So I've decided to turn a new leaf. Instead of letting the ugly green-eyed monster creep up on me again, I'm going to learn to be a homemaker. I'm a teacher and a self-professed nerd. I'm an academic perfectionist, so why can't I study a different type of subject?? I'm going to buy cute, girlie magazines (not the ones on make-up and clothing like I usually do). I'm going to watch decorating shows for inspiration. Shoot, if I can't naturally come up with my own cute ideas, I am not above stealing someone else's!!! I'm going to become THAT girl. I'm going to become Cleopatra (and several of my other best girls who have the same talent--ugh! Am I the ONLY one bad at this stuff). Hopefully, she'll give me some tutoring sessions and take me under her perfectly put-together wing. Hey, you never know...I may go wild in my effort to become a lady. I may actually stop biting my nails, updating my chipping toenail polish (and by "chipping" I mean that there may only be a few remnants of color actually ON some of my nails...GROSS!), and I may even start DOING my hair! So here's to becoming Cleopatra and fighting the green-eyed monster, so he can go creep up on someone else when they enter MY house!!

Oh, and here are a few pics of Bug, etc. @ Cleopatra's party. Wish I would've taken some pics of her gorgeous house so you all could be envious with me.

My New Boyfriend

So did my title grab your attention??? Well, it would seem that my dearest husband caught me red-handed with my new boyfriend. I've been spending morning, noon, and night with him (well, mostly night because I only get Braya's nap times during morning and noon). I'm hoping this object of my affection will get me somewhere--move me up in the world so I can stay home with Braya and feel like I'm contributing some financially. Sadly enough, I haven't attempted to hide my new relationship (ok, OBSESSION) from the husband. Current status update: Darling dearest is laying next to me sleeping, our Bug is sound asleep in her crib, E.D. (yes, we sometimes change our little pup's name to ED-Evil Doer-for reasons that you can only imagine with such a pet name) and Mr. Anxiety (firstborn pup) are snoring on the floor, and here I am with my boyfriend. His name is DELL.

If it makes you feel any better, DELL's been around for years...but I've only recently begun this little relationship with him. The change has come around because I'm currently jobless (by choice) to stay home with Bug. Don't get me wrong...I wouldn't change it for the world, BUT I did think I'd be bringing in a little bacon with tutoring. Turns out, that's not working out so well. I'd take it personally, but I haven't even had any calls for anyone to reject me.

So the tutoring is being put on the back burner while I stalk (and that is no exaggeration of the word) every other possible online job I can possibly have. Yes, I'm looking for things education related--online teachers, tutors, college instructors, content developer, test rater--BUT, I've also found myself applying to random administrative/clerical jobs online. I can't even tell you how many random applications I've sent out in the past few weeks. It's exhausting to the enth degree. I also can't even begin to tell you about all of the application snafus (which are humiliatingly comical if you look back on it AND are ok with the fact that you don't have a shot of getting that job) that have occurred because I've been trying to do TOO much, TOO fast (hot mess of application process for another post).

This week, it's been really bad. I mean, this computer hasn't left my lap (aside from the daytime when I'm playing with my Bug). Darling Dearest has informed me that I have a new boyfriend. It's a sad, sad thing. I get kind of (ok, EXTREMELY) obsessive when it comes to getting things done. I want everything done and put away from my mind. I wish this trait bled into my housekeeping...oh well. So I'm at the point where I think I can end my affair with DELL. Yes, I'll see DELL every now and again, but my poor husband has been abandoned for the past few days (good thing it's baseball season and the Yanks are in the World Series...let's be honest, he would've abandoned me if I wasn't watching with him). A million applications later, I'm deciding to slow down and get my mind obsessed with something else....finding dance tights. But that's for another night.

"This is the start of something good, don't you agree?"

So if you don't know already....this post's title is taken from lyrics by Gavin Degraw, but I'm hoping it's fitting. This is my first official blog. I don't really know what I'm doing, but I enjoy reading other people's blogs, so I thought...WHY NOT??? With family and friends so far away, this is one way to keep everyone posted on the sweet happenings in the F.T.M.'s household.

Ok, "sweet happenings" may have been a slight exaggeration, but when you're a first time mom (or maybe a mom in general), your "sweet happenings" change from REAL excitement and drama in the eyes of the normal world to changes in poop (yes, the baby's), first swallows of "solid" food (I'm still confused as to why they call it SOLID--but that's for another post), sitting up, night wakings, and weird changes in your own body. Suddenly the concept of T.M.I. flies right out the window as you think all your dear loved ones want to know EVERYTHING that comes with being a mommy and having a baby.

All to say, this blog is my way to chronicle/vent/share my experiences of being a first time mom and hopefully connect with people who have "been there, done that", ARE there, or are too scared/grossed out after reading my posts to ever want to be there. You can look forward hearing about all my experiences of being a wife, a friend, daughter, sister, an attempting-to-find-an-online-job-so-I-can-comfortably-stay-at-home-with-my-daughter-for-a-long-while kinda gal, and most importantly--a MOM!